


Dirty Chai

by pansexualbeast15



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Build a Bears, Drink Kink, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, For breakfast, Furries, heat wave, just major silliness, outrageous flirtations, the struggle is real
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-09 21:57:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7818790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pansexualbeast15/pseuds/pansexualbeast15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Ghostbusters face their biggest nemeses yet: Empty fridges and stomaches.  And it's a heatwave. Delirious, half starved conversation and growing Holzbertian coquettishness ensues. Not much plot, not yet. This is more of an ensemble chapter. More Holzbert in the next chapter!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dirty Chai

**Author's Note:**

> So I might have been inspired by the recent heat wave and lack of air conditioning in my house? I also might be a little hungry and thirsty right now. I haven't exactly edited this but I am posting it before I lose my nerve. This is my first attempt at fan fiction. This movie has made authors of us all and actually helped me get over a really long writer's block! I adore this film and the rich friendships and all the Holtzbert. I can't get enough of Erin and Holtz and I have so many stories for them to play around in. Welcome to my brain. Please sign the guest book before you leave.

Dirty Chai

 

In the famed metropolis where one particular blonde ghostbuster never sleeps, it has grown so hot during the already sultry night that even the pigeons seem to be sweating and it's only 7:30 on a Monday morning in August.

In the firehouse kitchen, Erin, Patty, and Abby jostle for position in front of the big window fan that blocks a beautiful view of the alley. Not one lady has had a drop of caffeine or a bite of food and it shows. Holtzmann giddyups into the room, astride what looks like a medley of pipes soldered together with some sharp edges still exposed and one or two red lights.

"Holtz, what is that um between- uh... Erin is stuttering even more than usual, trying not to stare at the piece of machinery the blonde is straddling.

Holtz laughs delightedly. "My legs? Are you flirting with me? My dear Lady Gilbert, my eyes are up here." Holtz grins and locks eyes with Erin.

"What? No! Haha no." Erin struggles to break eye contact with Holz. " I knew that. Why...."Erin clears her throat. "Shouldn't that be in the lab?"

"Yeah, that shit looks dangerous," comments Patty with narrowed eyes.

"I'm guessing still in the experimental phase?" Abby approaches Holtz's invention.

"It's gonna be like the Trojan Horse but with mini grenades inside instead of soldiers. And it's basically a big ghost trap." Holtz gestures with excitement. "This baby's going to take down a fuck ton of ghosts."

"Awesome," Abby smiles at Holtz. "But please bring it back to the lab."

"S'okay. If something were to go wrong it would only cause a small poof, medium poof tops."

"Don't you go burning down our house now," Patty warns Holtz.

"But I like to take my pets out to play," Holtz pouts and the other ghostbusters smile fondly at her, each one wrapped around one of the mad scientist's fingerless gloved fingers.

"Too hot to trot," she says sadly.

Erin snorts. "Ok, Mr. Ed. "

" A horse is a horse, of course, of course, " chimes in Abby, who is forever trying to get the other ghostbusters to watch classic TV with her.

" Oh hell no!" Patty shakes her head. "The next thing y'all are gonna do is act like a bunch of furries. Too early in the morning and too damn hot for that shit."

"What are furries?" asks Erin, in that slightly high pitched voice she gets when she's confused.

Abby guffaws and pats Erin's shoulder.

"My poor innocent Erin," says Holtz. "Furries are people who dress up like animals and dot dot dot."

Erin flushes and reaches to fiddle with the bowtie on her polkadot short sleeved blouse. "Oh."

Holtz flops into the chair closes to Erin. "So whatcha making for breakfast, hot stuff?"

"Me? Um cereal? I don't- I mean, you're the best cook here."

"Little old me?" asks Holtz in a Southern drawl.

"Little old you," Erin tries to replicate her accent, earning her a hearty laugh and grin from Holtz.

"Yeah, what are you gonna cook for us, Holtzy?" asks Patty. "I don't want Abby here to get hangry."

"Hey! I resemble that remark!" exclaims Abby. 

Erin rolls her eyes at her adorkable friends, none more so than Holtz who's holding up a tub of ice cream over her head.

"Ghostcakes! Pancakes plus vanilla icecream!"

"Ooh yes! I love ghostcakes!" Abby smiles and turns to the other ladies. "Holtz knows the importance of the proper ratio of pancakes to ice cream."

Holtz gives a two finger salute and peers inside the container. 

"Uh, sorry folks. Looks like it's going to be regular, non-ghost pancakes. Still epically delicious though!" She winks at Erin whose blushes have become like Pavlovian responses to the blonde's flirtations.

Holtz rummages around in the fridge and cupboards and turns to her famished friends."Correction. Looks like it's going to be non ghost, non pancake pan!"

"Huh?" asked Erin.

"Okay, I think the heat is making us all a little delirious, " said Abby, who is fanning herself vigorously with the stack of takeout menus they keep on the counter.

"I'm trying to appeal to any pansexuals here," Holtz jokes. Erin visibly begins to sweat. Holtz leans forward and blows gently on Erin's face. Her breath smelled a bit spicy and faintly of licorice. "I'll cool you down, kitten." Erins tries to keep from trembling.

"Holtzy, says Patty. "If you don't stop flirting with Erin, my stomach is gonna eat itself!"

"Ew! Thanks for the visual, Patty."

"Just being honest, baby girl," Patty laughs. 

"Okay seriously," says Holtz. We lack every single ingredient. No butter, no sugar, not even any flour. Whose turn was it to get groceries?"

"Kevin!" said Patty and the women let out a collective groan.

"Ugh, let's just start with some coffee and tea then." Abby gets up to make herself useful and looks in the cupboard. What the-....How are we out of everything? I could have sworn I still had some Red Zinger on Friday."

" He's so eager, bless him," says Abby. "But we shouldn't ever let Kevin get groceries. He forgets the list even if we safety pin it to his shirt."

"That was one time-" protested Erin.

"You just wanted that man meat," said Patty knowingly.

"Ew." Holtz shudders violently.

"I don't- I mean sure he's handsome, but I'm overthatokay?" Erin runs her words together and avoids looking at Holtz who is regarding her with interest. "Kevin is sweet and loyal and he tries really hard And he'd probably bring us something we didn't even know we wanted."

"The Build a Bears," remembers Abby. 

"He even spelled Holtzmann right," said Holtz.

"Those bears were cute. And he made sure my bear was the biggest, most beautiful chocolate brown. Like me." says Patty. "He's cute. Let's just change his name legally to Puppy."

Everyone laughs.

 

"It's the apocalpyse! I'm going delirious from lack of food and drink!" exclaims Holtz dramatically and slumps onto Erin's shoulder and closes her eyes. "Erin, my lovely capable Erin, if I faint, are you prepared to rescuscitate me?"

Erin's cheeks practically turn burgundy. "Um, well I took a CPR course that summer I was a lifeguard-"

"Now I'm picturing you in a bathing suit, a red one piece like on Baywatch." Holtz sighs and stretches out basically in Erin's lap like she was a luxurious beach towel. 

Patty and Erin roll their eyes at Holtz's antics. 

Erin stiffens. " Um uh..." She pinches the bridge of her nose and takes a deep breath. "I prefer bikinis," she says bravely.

"You're gonna give Holtzy a heart attack," laughs Patty.

Holtz sits up and winks at Erin. "Suddenly I want to go swimming. Coney Island, anyone?"

"F the F train!" says Patty. 

"People, people. Let's keep our eyes on the prize. Which is breakfast. I mean tea. Tea first."

Kevin wanders in wearing a Superman shirt inside out, takes out an empty juice bottle from the fridge and holds it up, trying to get the last drop on his tongue without unscrewing the cap. "No juice," he remarks with his trademark obviousness.

As entertaining as it is to watch their pet receptionist try to do just about anything, the ladies quickly realize that things are not going to be pretty if they don't get some groceries stat.

"I volunteer as tribute!" says Holtz and stands up. What'll it be, ladies? Comestibles first." 

"Bagels," Abby bleats.

"All in favor of bagels say Aye."

Patty and Erin answer in unison: "Aye."

Kevin points at himself proudly: "me."

The ladies shake their heads fondly at their lovable dim bulb.

" So what's everyone's poison?" asks Holtz. Abby, a tall iced herbal tea?"

"Yep."

"Patty?"

" Ghost juice, baby! aka Gatorade! That shit keeps you going for days!"

Holtz laughs. "Noted." Kevin, I'm assuming you want a juice box?"

Kevin brightens. "How'd you know?"

Holtz just smiles and shakes her head and turns to Erin. "I saved the best for last. What my sweet, sweet colleague, do you want to drink?" Coffee light and sweet, just like you?"

Erin giggles and shakes her head. "Not today, Holtz. I think I'm in the mood for something different." Erin glances at Holz for a minute, shifts her gaze to her lips and then looks away. The heatwave has definitely loosened up Dr. Gilbert.

"You-you are?" Holtz is momentarily stunned.

"She likes dirty chai," says Abby, always wanting to be helpful.

"Abby!" chides Erin.

"Get it, girl!" says Patty. 

"Dirty chai. That's my stripper name."

"It is not," retorts Erin.

"Why? Have you ever seen me strip?" challenges Holtz.

Erin's jaw drops. 

"I'm not gonna touch that with a 10 foot stripper pole!" laughs Abby.

Holtz shoves a pretend microphone in front of Erin." Radio Times. I have some questions," she grins. "Come with me to get our sustenance. Tell me everything."

"Fine. Will that shut you up?" teased Erin.

"Maybe. No. Maybe."

To be continued!

Kudos and comments much appreciated!


End file.
